We were playing a gig back a year or so
At some run down bar where nobody goes
And we were rockin and a-rolling and making all kinds of noise

There was a young man in the back with a girl at his side
And she was looking at him with her big brown eyes
And getting across a message without using her voice (it's crazy but they can do it)

So he comes to the stage when we was inbetween numbers
And he gets my attention and turns red and he mumbles
Mister I could sure use some help

Y'see that gal over there with the beautiful smile
Well she's leavin for a job and I won't see her for a while
And where this is going I'm sure you can probably tell

But if you boys could bring it down to a three-over-four
I could go take her hand and pull her out on the floor
And sweep her off her feet, just like the night we met

So I heard his plea and I turned to the band
And they all agreed with a wave of a hand
So I grabbed the mic and this is what I said

Well I got bad bad news to break
It's such a shame you brought your date
Oh sonny we don't play no slow songs
So you're gonna have to sit and wait

Well just a few weeks later us five were back together
Playing outside in the bright sunny weather
And they was lined up to see us like lambs to the slaughter

It was a swanky little shindig, they were pouring champagne
I was having a good time until someone complained
Excuse me, I've just been married and I'd like a dance with my father

So I said dance with him now and she shook her head no
I want you to play something nice and slow
And sweet that'll bring a tear to my eye

So I took her by the hand real kindly and gentle
Cuz I could tell the poor thing was a bit temperamental
And I told her something that made her feathers fly

Well I got bad bad news to break
You don't need on your wedding day
Oh honey we don't play no slow songs
So you might as well go cut your cake

Just the other night about quarter past three
We was lying on the couch my old lady and me
And she gets this look in her eye made me think I done something wrong

She was asking me a question prodding at me with her feet
And I could barely pay attention cuz I was half asleep
Until I realized she wanted me to play her a song

I'd hardly sat up she put the guitar in my hand
Said lover I'm your woman and you're my man
And it's high time you put your heart to words

So I played the first thing that came to mind
And in four short bars she was already cryin'
Cuz booooy lemme tell you folks the truth hurts!

Said I got bad bad news to break
You shouldn't have stayed up so late
Oh darlin I don't play no slow songs
So you might've made a big mistake

And I got bad bad news to break
To the entire U S of A
We never play no gall darn slow songs
So get on your feet and start to shake